NEW YORK, NY - In 2017, the popular day-trading startup MoneyGrab hired a consultant to switch their entire team to Agile in an effort to modernize, streamline, and embrace other meaningless buzzwords they’d been hearing as well. MoneyGrab CEO Chad Kashpoor told The Unicornian “I’d been hanging out with other CEOs and just hearing about all the things they were doing like OKRs, KPIs, Lean, Soylent, Agile...I just realized that if we didn’t start doing some of those things as well we risked falling behind, or worse, not seeming innovative at our next board meeting.”
But after 5 years of supposedly successfully implementing the Agile methodology, no one at MoneyGrab can explain what it is, including the consultant who implemented it. As a result, The Unicornian decided to conduct its own research, which revealed that Agile, much like Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and Kim Kardashian, only exists if you truly believe in it. We all have the capacity for Agile methodology inside us, and it just takes a leap of faith to let it out.