Feb 23, 2021
 | 
Olli Thatcher Camacho

LITTLE ROCK, AK - Mary Fotrell always used a lot of exclamation marks in her emails, but she never dreamed that one day it would win her an award. Mary told The Unicornian “It all started 5 years ago, when I ended a sentence with a period and my customer thought I was upset at them. From that day on, I swore I’d never make the same mistake again.”

Mary started to end more and more of her sentences with exclamation points, and slowly but surely, her customers started to respond with enthusiasm themselves. Responses like “Are you okay?!” “You must have had a lot of coffee today!” and “I think your keyboard is broken!” came pouring in, and Mary was overjoyed.

Mary’s award-winning venture peaked this week when she used 82 exclamation points in one 2 sentence email informing a customer that her company had updated its privacy policy. She was shortly thereafter informed of her win. For hitting this record, Mary will receive a lifetime supply of Valium and a trip to Italy; the only place in the world where people speak as loudly as Mary types.

When asked about what she has planned next, Mary told The Unicornian “I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I think I’m going to take on the semi-colon next. It’s way underused and I think it makes me sound smart; so I’m going to see if I can catch lightning in a bottle again with that!!!!!

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