Feb 23, 2021
Caligula Walker

In their never-ending effort to make you feel bad about yourself, reading app Winkist recently announced that the average CEO reads 8 books every minute. This same study also found conclusively that the number of books a CEO reads directly correlates to the success of their company. 

The Unicornian spoke to Carrie Reynolds, one of the CEOs that participated in the study. Reynolds said “Well I don’t read physical books, but I listen to them at 1000% speed. I wouldn’t say I absorb every single word, but I think even listening to a book that fast still gets you, like, 80% of the benefits.”

Another CEO from the study, Morgan McDaniels, was asked about whether the speed at which one listens to a book effects how much of it they absorb, and he told us “Well I think first you have to consider that some people are born CEOs and some people just aren’t. If you’re born a CEO, that basically means you have special powers that make you better at things than other people, and reading books really quickly just happens to be one of those things, you know?”

Winkist’s study has yet to be peer reviewed, published in a journal, or substantiated in any significant way, but their marketing team has already decided to run with it, claiming “Meh, it’s not like anyone is going to actually check that stuff.”

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